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[Wednesday
December 2nd, 2009
11:58am] |
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I really wish it was easy to lose 60lbs. And I wish there was a gym closer to my house.
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[Wednesday
November 18th, 2009
3:00pm] |
Things have been good lately, surprisingly.
I've just been having weird dreams, which is fine because I forget them in no time at all haha.
Kyles been texting me again, which I don't really care about, its all in good humor.
I'm crushing hardcore on this kid I work with, haha.
And I had to cover for my boss last Thursday cause he was sick, and the boy was working that night.
And I wore pants that were too big and forgot to grab my belt.
And I had raw meatball mix all over my hands, and couldn't pull up my pants.
So my asscrack was hanging out for like 2 hours.
I was so embarrassed, although me and Jamps joked about it for a while.
Ohhhh how I wish I wasn't so shy.
But seriously, when did life get so calm and good?
I'm happy.
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[Friday
October 30th, 2009
12:01am] |
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I am so tired.
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[Thursday
October 29th, 2009
12:49pm] |
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I hate updating in here and complaining but I literally have no one to talk to.
I went to the doctors last week, and once again he's done absolutey nothing for me. He gave me some Adrenal support vitamins for my adrenal fatigue, and they haven't done shit yet. He said that the adrenals and the hypothyroidism have the same symptoms so he wants to rule that out before giving me anything for my thyroid. GAY. I go for a thyroid ultrasound next week, yay me.
Other than that, I'm the same old missa. Same old problems. I've been taking massive amounts of vitamins every day and unfortunately I don't feel any better at all.
Ugh, my boss won't give me anymore hours, because he says he has none to give out. Which was fine back in the summer when we were mad busy and I was working 9-10 hours a day. I've always only worked 2 days a week there, but still that was $80-$100 a night. Now I still work two days but its slow, all the summer people are gone, so I'm down to only working 4 hours a day, and $80 a week doesn't get you far when cigarettes are almost $8 a pack and you need new clothes. I need a new phone too, I broke mine almost 2 months ago, and now I have no contact with anyone which fucking sucks. Kill meh.
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[Monday
October 26th, 2009
10:10pm] |
As if we ever needed anything to entertain us<3
So I just watched Marley&Me. And it brought on another one of these moments. There's barely any movies that make me cry.
But this one had me crying ten times harder than all the times I cried while watching P.S. I love you.
Watching Marley get put to sleep at the end, reminded me of when my Johnny was sick, and there was nothing we could do but take away the pain. It was almost a year and a half ago. Yet every time I sit in the spot on my couch I can feel it, I can feel the misery and the pain I felt as I had my precious bundled up in my lap, when the vet gave him the medicine to make him sleep, then came back a few minutes later and gave him the medicine to stop his heart.
I wish it was me and not him.
rest in peace baby boy.
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[Thursday
October 22nd, 2009
9:57am] |
Today's Kyles birthday, now he's stuck in my head and its driving me crazy.
I have another thyroid appointment tomorrow, I'm not so excited.
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[Thursday
October 22nd, 2009
12:00am] |
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) supernothingx3's Halloween party:
15909 dressed as a witch.
__hooby dressed as Trent Reznor, and it suited them all too well.
__retouravega dressed as Lady Godiva without the horse and far too little hair!.
aaasshhhleyyyyy dressed as the Hot Power Ranger.
ashahtrash dressed as Maria Sharapova.
behindcrimetape dressed as Helga the wisewoman, although the live snake was a mistake.
bellexrotture dressed as Adam-the-first-man but the fig-leaf was far too big, though it looked more like Helga the wisewoman, although the live snake was a mistake.
bree_sinkships didn't even show up and doesn't get any candy.
decemberweather dressed as Ichabod Crane, the schoolmaster from Sleepy Hollow.
heathababe86 dressed as Jerry Bruckheimer's grandmother.
iammarissaway dressed as Tiffani-Amber Thiessen.
idiedonthursday dressed as the spirit of their dead grandmother Doris.
inaugust_ dressed as Camilla Parker-Bowles when she becomes Queen.
ixcouldxdiex4xu dressed as Barney the dinosaur.
killerrandrea dressed as the Governor of New Hampshire.
oxitslovexo dressed as the King of Reunion.
retin081 dressed as Josephine Baker but the banana "skirt" didn't survive the night.
samlamb dressed as a monster from a Final Fantasy game.
shiggs7657657 dressed as Calista Flockhart.
shmellslikepoop dressed as blues legend Boney Eyes Jenkins.
stillwegroww dressed as Mary Queen of Scots ... without her head. Most convincing.
striveseekfind dressed as Jack the Ripper in a time machine, complete with gory knives, though it looked more like James Garfield.
ursolast_summ3r dressed as Moltar.
wh925 dressed as Squidward.
x3figment dressed as a new superhero: Crimson Paladin.
x__mascaradex dressed as legendary space hero Punch Deadlift.
Throw your own party at the Hallomeme!
Created by sigma7: More info here.
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[Sunday
October 18th, 2009
10:27pm] |
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What the fuck is this world coming to?
Everyones worried about global warming but the fucking ice age is coming!
haha just kidding.
Guhhhh Robs dead and I don't feel bad. CT's gonna be safter without him. Nut families shouldn't breed.
I hope cardoza's okay. he didn't deserve to get shot.
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[Monday
October 5th, 2009
11:34pm] |
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Pretend to care.
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[Saturday
October 3rd, 2009
10:20am] |
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Bloodwork so far.
Cortisol- 8 out of 14.
Thyroid - 1 out of 5.
Vitamin D- 19 out of 60.
Whyyyy so unhealthy.
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[Monday
September 28th, 2009
3:33pm] |
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DIAGNOSED: Hypothyroidism & Adrenal Fatigue.
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[Sunday
September 27th, 2009
7:28pm] |
So I finally stood up for myself,
I spoke the truth,
And you couldn't handle it.
Too bad.
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[Friday
September 25th, 2009
10:10pm] |
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My thyroids causing me lots of problems
The doctors concerned.
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[Wednesday
August 26th, 2009
11:16pm] |
Oh hai. Having the same health issues as usual,
But i'm in a good mental state :]
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[Saturday
August 22nd, 2009
10:22pm] |
I'm feelin' my health go down the drain.
I'm watching my thyroid progressively grow, and waiting for December to get it scanned, and maybe just maybe it'll be large enough for them to medicate me so I'll stop gaining wait.
So far away.
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[Sunday
August 16th, 2009
12:18am] |
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I'm so done with everyone.
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[Tuesday
August 11th, 2009
10:08pm] |
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I don't know what I want anymore, or what to do with myself lately.
I haven't been doing much.
I bought myself a new laptop yesterday, and now I have no motivation to go back to work. But I know I have to.
$100 is gonna last me long with how many cigarettes I smoke a day.
I'm ruined.
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[Friday
August 7th, 2009
6:41am] |
So, like I said in my past entries, I'm in the proccess of coming off all my medicines.
And I haven't been sleeping as much.
I've been having terrible dreams, not nightmares, just terrible horrible weird dreams.
And sometimes I wake up with bruises, because apparently I'm hurting myself in my sleep.
The other day I woke up with full finger marks bruised into my leg, and a thumb print, it looked like I had grabbed myself and squeezed really really hard, that was the one day I couldn't remember my dream.
Fucking weird.
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[Tuesday
August 4th, 2009
11:16am] |
So I'm starting to feel the effects of coming off my medicine.
My doctors weaving me down slowly, but the anti depressent I'm on is one of the worst to come off of.
So whether or not we do it slowly its still going to be like hell.
I'm constantly light headed and have dizzy spells all the time, along with serious sweating.
And the thing that bothers me the most is that I always feel like theres bugs crawling all over my body,
but theres nothing there.
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[Friday
July 31st, 2009
3:57pm] |
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Why did I ever let such good friendships go so far down the drain,
I miss Kate, I miss Kyrsten, I miss Jake&Jake, I miss the downtown boys.
But I still see all of them, except one, I miss Kyrsten, even though I know our friendship could never be the same again, we're both different now.
Why do things happen this way?
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